There is a brokenness that develops when you lose someone or something that is special to you. You spend a lot of time thinking and trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move forward. Although, it seems like one of the hardest things to do at the moment; especially, when you are emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and spiritually exhausted. Nonetheless, you can overcome it. Sometimes we are so broken that it transforms us. Of course, there are a lot of questions that we need answered before we feel that we can start the process of overcoming. It’s like where do I go from here? Where do I start first? You may even find yourself saying, “I have this messy life now full of imperfection, how can I get through this?” We feel hopeless and defeated. But when sadness comes it’s imperative that we focus on our mental wellbeing. Our mental state drives our emotional state and many times weighs on our spiritual health. We find ourselves questioning our faith and our very existence. Unarguably, our spirituality offers a way for us to understand our experiences in life. Thus in times of crisis and uncertainty our faith burns low and we start to view life from a jaded perspective. We are now in need of people (i.e., family, friends) who are willing to be there for us and just listen. Don’t say anything-shhh just listen. Because it doesn’t matter how deep of an understanding that we have with our faith it doesn’t save us from losses, anxieties, and the challenges of life. Having people in your circle who are willing to support you and help you through difficult journeys is important.
Losing my first born child was the onset of my battle with depression and anxiety. I think about him often. Without question, it has been a mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual challenge for me. Birthdays and holidays are extremely difficult. The pain of losing my son has tested my very existence. Slowly, I’m learning to bow to the gratitude that it has not completely shattered me. It’s built my resilience in ways I never thought possible. In memory of him I strive to make a positive impact in the world. Daily, I’m learning there is beauty in brokenness. I give praise to God that even in the pit of my brokenness, I can still have joy. Brokenness is a tool in the hand of God. He will use it for His glory and for our good. I’m trusting the process!
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