The way you SPEAK TO yourself matters

Dear Gebray

I’m just checking in on you. I have watched you daily over the past few months and I do not see any changes. You seem more in disarray than you did before. You have filled your life with things that occupy your time but leave very little time for Gebray.

I thought freedom was what you wanted? Are you really free? It seems as if you have hit this fork in your life and you do not know what exactly you want to do.

We have had conversations before and you seemed so sure of what you wanna do. Why have you not done it? You can not continue to put other people’s feelings before your own. You’re going to disappoint some people and make someone unhappy. Guess what?that’s okay. Don’t you want to be happy and in a place of peace? Do you even know what will make you happy or give you peace? It seems you’re searching for something in people or things that may not exist. If a person wants to be in your life they will.. If you want someone in your life, you will allow them to be there.. But you must first work on You? It’s called self care and it’s not selfish to put yourself first.

There was a time when you had it all together. Now you struggle to decide what you are going to wear. You spend money on things that you don’t need-unfulfilling but costly. In the end, all you have is stuff and you are still incomplete. What will make you complete? What will make you feel whole again?

I’ve noticed that you allow people to say and do things that you would not have tolerated in the past. Why do you allow this? Do you feel you should be treated this way? Are you punishing yourself?

You call yourself beautiful disaster. Do you feel like you are a disaster? I think life’s challenges have brought you to think this about yourself. But the truth be told, you are stronger than you think. You are not a disaster, you are just in reconstruction. I think the final layout will be a work of art. You are a masterpiece! A Mona Lisa in your own way.

Well I hope you think about what I said and get it together.

Yours truly

Finding my way Gebray